Emotionally retarded
by crazy rodent lady
Summary: It isn't everyday I wake up in a strange room suffering from an unexplainable pain to the sound of restrained crying. Sasunaru
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** this is my first story. title is subject to change, suggestions on the title or how I can improve my writing is greatly appreciated. Comments are also appreciated. If you think it sucks please tell me, but be gentle my 14 year old heart can only take so much criticism. This is shounen-ai. which means two boys will be in love and participate in actions that show that love, but no sex, so don't even ask me, because they are 12 and I'm sorry to say I don't agree with 12 year olds having sex. If your going to hate on my story because it involves two boys and feelings of love then you can just fuck off and not even read the story. :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto or any of the characters, settings, or ideas in it.

Emotionally retarded

Pain, excruciating, undeniable pain at all points of my body, sharp piercing pain. Waking to this feeling did nothing to raise my spirits which are usually low to begin with, especially when I first wake. I observed a few unusual things as I slowly woke from my slumber. First off I was still tired, but felt as if I had been sleeping for a long while, at least a few days. My coal colored eyes took in the scenery that was not from my bedroom, where I tend to sleep. The walls were not a deep blue, but a pale yellow. Instead of laying on a large, soft, raised bed I was on the floor. The room was dimly lit, which led me to believe that artificial light was not what was keeping my surroundings from being shrouded in a deep black shroud. With my powers of deduction I assumed that it was either early morning or late afternoon. Finished with my visual scout of the room I turned to my ears for the rest of my observing. That was when I registered the quiet whimpering and choked sobs coming from a spot relatively close to me.

It isn't everyday I wake up in a strange room suffering from an unexplainable pain to the sound of restrained crying. Though I was interested in who might be crying next to me in this strange room I thought it would be a better idea to reflect back on my memories to try and find out where I am and why. Snippets of the last few days danced through my mind. "You okay, scardey cat?", Naruto freezing up, stopping the two ninja from slicing him into tiny pieces protecting that bitch of a girl and that useless old man. Needles being thrown at the dobe and me, over and over feeling them piercing my skin and watching him push himself to the point of collapsing. Sharingan being awoken. Panicking as I see the needles headed for Naruto's non-moving body. "Damn! Please make it in time!" Racing for the needles out of reflex to protect my teammate. "Why? Why? I never asked for you to save me!" The Dobe breaking down as I collapse in his arms. "My body just moved on its own."

That clears a few things up. The pain, my changed setting, and...the crying next to me. I turn towards the sound, slowly sitting up. Sure enough the blonde idiot is crying. I look at him, peeled over,sitting indian style on the wooden floor, fists clenched and supporting his weight (which isn't that much, the dobe is small), his eyes and the majority of his face hidden by the long, spiky, unruly blonde locks falling over his face. I see his salty tears dripping down his scarred cheeks and onto the floor, where there is a tiny puddle of the collected drops, apparently he had been at this for awhile. My heart clenched as if it were being squeezed at the sight and sound of the small boy breaking down as quietly as possible, this opposing greatly to his normal self, who is as loud as humanly possible, obnoxious, idiotic and I think I'd have preferred it if his crying reflected his outer self, because now that means one of the personalities is a lie, Naruto isn't supposed to lie.

Regardless of how I feel about it the idiot has to be lying about something, I suppose it must be the bubbly annoying personality since there was no one in the room to fake quiet tears for, except me but I've been unconscious for Kami knows how long. Now, what to do in this...awkward situation? Pretend to be asleep? That seems like a Sasuke-teme thing to do, too bad my conscience won't allow it (yes my conscience exists). So that leaves all my other bastardly solutions out, should probably try and comfort him. How? Sometimes it really sucks being a retard when it comes to emotions. Think back to what happens when you cry... I'm always alone, angry, frustrated and feeling like shit. That was helpful. New plan, think about your childhood tears. When mother was with me she would hold me close and murmer nonsense about how everything would be alright, that wouldn't work I don't even know what he's crying about, I don't hug and I don't want to lie, things will never be alright. Father didn't give a shit if I cried, he just looked away with what I imagine was shame and embarrassment, that's out, don't wanna be a dick. Itachi, he would put a hand on my shoulder, sure he was a lying piece of shit, but that seems like a good idea right now.

I rose slowly, gingerly, because he pain was still intense. He didn't notice I was getting up, or pretended he didn't. I reached out a grasped his delicate shoulder. Watching his reaction I was glad I didn't go my mother's route. He gave a large intake of breath, let it out in a strangled gasp, and wrenched out of my grip. Without looking up he somehow managed to get out between his sobs, "Sorry, I'm so, so, sorry. I-I'll leave." The broken voice along witht he statement gave me another wrenching feeling in my chest. Now what? Improvise. "Dobe, why are you leaving?" Still not looking at me- okay thats getting annoying- he begins to stutter a response, but my patience get the best of me and I roughly grasped his chin and wrenched his head upwards to look into blue, red rimmed, huge with awe, sadness, and shock eyes. A few seconds pass in which we were just staring into each other's eyes, his leaking tears and looking preoccupied with thought. He then, again, tries to flee, but me being me, I don't allow him to and I place one hand on his thin waste, using the other to grab his wrist and prevent him from going anywhere without dragging me there with him.

**Author's note:** Yes it is a cliffhanger of sorts. Review and tell me if you like it and I should continue, if you hate it please tell me so, so I don't waste my time updating a story no one will read.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **This chapter was sort of rushed, but I had sudden inspiration and decided that i must type the second chapter to this fic regardless of the fact that it is a school night, the time, or that I have to wake up at 5am tomorrow. My fic is more important! Who needs sleep anyways?

**Warnings:** No action yet but this is a shounen ai, which means Boy on Boy loving. This chapter contains alot of swearing. My intense potty mouth doesn't seem to go away even when I write.

**Disclaimer:** Naruto isn't mine.

**Emotionally Retarded**

We are now both sitting on the ground. After a few adjustments I am face to face with an irate, still crying blonde. Said blonde boy's legs were approximately 2 inches away fro my legs, which are also crossed. My arm has, regrettably left his waste, but now I hold both of his scrawny wrists within my grasp. I face his glaring blue eyes with my bottomless pits and proceed to participate in a glare-down, poor little boy never had a chance. He averts his eyes, turning his head away from mine so I get a glimpse of his profile. He seems to be calming down, and melting into our routine .

Just as I begin to think that everything is calming down and I can interrogate the boy as much as I like, he begins to cry, again. This is getting mildly annoying, and definitely stressful. Not knowing what to do due to my complete and utter lack of experience in aiding upset people to calm the fuck down I take my hands off from his wrists and attempt to pull him into a comforting embrace. Attempt being the key word, because it somehow slipped my mind that he freaked out about a mere shoulder touch. I was slapped, granted normally it wouldn't have hurt so badly normally, but seeing as I had previously had numerous needles jammed into my skin it hurt like a bitch. I let out a grunt of pain and saw the regret in his bluer-than-possible, teary eyes. I move to calm him down but he seems to have gone into hysterics now. He is pacing the room frantically rambling on in a hoarse, sad, rapid voice.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry I am so sorry. It was my fault you were injured in the first place and now I just add salt to the wounds. God, im such a fucking asshole. A useless piece of fucking shit that only hurts and burdens the people around me. If I hadn't been so fucking weak, you wouldn't have felt compelled to jump in front of a freaking barrage of needles to stop me from dying. Furthermore, your a fucking retard too. Why would you protect a dead fucking last peice of useless garbage that will never amount to anything, nor accomplish one thing in his useless pathetic waste of a life?" He was screaming and sobbing now. "I don't fucking want anyone to protect me Sasuke. Do you even realize its a fucking miracle you aren't dead? I thought you had dreams, ambitions, goals, whatever the fuck you want to call them! You wanted to accomplish something goddamn it and you could've died."

Now he dropped to the floor, in a botched version of the fetal position, sobbing into his clothed knees. Though I was stunned to the point of near paralyse , I slowly made my way toward him, maybe now he would let me give my garbled attempts at comfort to him now that he got all that he needed to off his chest. Third times the charm, right? Wrong, so very fucking wrong. This boy was hell bent on breaking down in front of me, hurting my heart in the process, and rejecting any form of comfort I offered him. I wonder if he has ever been held while he cried, I would strongly doubt it, what with the way he is reacting to it.

Naruto sprung up, pushed me onto my bedroll and ran to the corner of the rather small room we were sharing at the moment. I ached, I ached all over and the impact from my fall sent electric shots of pain all throughout my body. I opted to stay there and give up my current attempts at calming down my teammate, he seemed preoccupied with whatever he was doing over there in the corner anyways. The corner action piqued my interest and I was anxious to see what he was doing over there. He came back to me with a kunai in hand and kneeled beside me. "I have something to show you Sasuke, and after you see it you'll know not ever to protect me again."


	3. Chapter 3

**author's note: **The universe did not want me to write this chapter, but I, being the devoted author that I am, persevered and finished this chapter despite all my unpleasant distractions. When I first began writing this chapter I was interrupted by my mother who said that I had to go out into the freezing cold New-England-during-winter-time temperatures and cross my extremely icy driveway to bring in 10 bags of wood pellets. After almost falling to my doom due to my normal clumsiness enhanced by the smooth ice on my stairs I finished bringing the pellets in. When I was just starting the 3rd paragraph I looked up to see my gerbil heatedly glaring at me from the inside of his cage. I spent some time figuring out what he wanted (it was a honey bbq potato chip that I had been eating) and then settled down at my laptop to continue writing. Only to be interrupted by my father who reminded me that I forgot about my Mac n Cheese that I had been cooking for an hour and a half now. But throughout all the almost falling to my death, death glares from hungry gerbils, and slightly overcooked macaroni I bring you the 3rd chapter of Emotionally Retarded!

**warning: **Shounen ai. (BoyXBoy loving), mild cussing (I think I only swore like two times in this chapter!) and horrible grammar (Don't tell me about how much my grammar sucks I have an English Teacher for that)

**Emotionally Retarded**

An unexplainable feeling of dread made itself comfortable inside my gut. My heart rate increased as my brain furiously tried to mull over Naruto's words and the reason why they affected me in this way. The matter is that anything Naruto has to "Show me" that involves a kunai cannot be a very positive thing, and the presence of the kunai along with the word "show", meant that Naruto was going to give me a demonstration of sorts with the blade, meaning I, him, or a random piece of furniture was going to get hurt. My money was on me or Naruto since we are currently in someone else's house.

My genius mind then came to mull over the second part of the strange thing Naruto had said, that I would know not to protect him after this show. Why wouldn't Naruto want me to protect him, and why had I risked my own life and dreams just to save the life of someone who annoys me to no end? Why would I put my dreams on hold for the life of an idiot who cannot even manage to think clearly and realistically? What happened to the boy who was so hell-bent on revenge that he had no time for friendship, comradeship, emotions and anything else not directly connected to killing my bastard of an older brother? What happened to the bastard with no time or desire to think of others? Why aren't I a self-absorbed prick anymore? How could I have neglected to notice myself change so drastically that I would develop a soft spot for a dobe who was probably better off dead anyways?

My attention turned to the boy that had somehow managed to occupy a large section of my supposedly cold-as-ice-impenetrable heart without my knowledge. His hair that in normal circumstances shone brightly like the sun, had faded to a dull lifeless pale yellow in the moonlight. Yes, moonlight it had been growing steadily darker in the room so I concluded that it was slowly turning to night. Soon the others would be asleep if they weren't already. They wouldn't know that I have woken up until tomorrow unless we were graced with an unexpected visit. Despite the uneasy feeling in my stomach I silently prayed that they wouldn't interrupt, because though I had a terrible feeling about this I was still curious as to what the dobe had in store, for on the aforementioned blonde's face was a pained expression as well as dried tracks on his scarred cheeks indicating the path his tears had chosen to take on their journey to the ground. A part of me was relieved with the fact that he had ceased his crying but the eerie calm of his earlier words had me feeling even worse and trembling in dreadful anticipation for what the moron had to show me. His voice was unsettling, like the calm before a storm that promised to shake your house and threatened to ruin it until only its foundation remained.

Suddenly my voice escaped my throat and without my consent began to form words that I would regret by the night's end. "Well dead last, didn't you say you had something of importance to show me? Quit dawdling and let's see it." My words came out as they usually do when I am around him cold, antagonizing, with slight disgust and annoyance. His hands then shifted as he pulled up the sleeve of his left arm, displaying a thin wrist and an expanse of creamy, tan skin. My gaze moved over to watch his other arm,and then I saw the way he held the knife, with care, familiarity, but also like he knew exactly what to do, like he was an expert just waiting to display his talent, the angle of the weapon in his hold was similar to that of how a violinist holds his stick waiting to create sweet music with the tool. I concluded what was to happen before it actually did, but found myself only able to watch in horror as Naruto brought the weapon closer to his wrist closing the gap without any hesitation.

My emotionless eyes widened a few degrees as he plunged the kunai into his wrist, deep into his wrist, so deep and so fast that immediately thick crimson liquid gushed from the wound and onto the wooden floor underneath us. I only watched in shock as the blonde boy dragged to weapon down, across his vein and even further, making a perfect vertical cut. When he finally retracted the weapon I regained my ability to think clearly, and, after shutting my mouth which was elegantly gaping at the moment, I reopened it to yell at my teammate. Only to have the words that should've been shouted with fury directed towards the blonde to come out in a harsh, deep, monotone whisper.

"So the reason why you don't want me to save you is because you ass is either masochistic or suicidal and you would enjoy the pain?" He gave a chuckle to that, and upon seeing my countenance of mixed anger, frustration, shock, disbelief and outrage the chuckle soon turned into hysterical laughter. I was seriously doubting my teammate's sanity at this point, because one moment he was sobbing, the next he was trying to leave, back to sobbing, then anger, then self-destructive actions, and now he was laughing hysterically as his self inflicted wound bled uncontrollably in a situation where he should be ashamed of himself, screaming at me to defend his actions or in the very least crying out in pain. His laughter died down and looking me in the eye with the most serious expression on his face I've ever seen he calmly told me, "Sasuke, watch the wound."


	4. Chapter 4

**author's note:** This took a long time to get out, and instead of taking the blame I'm going to place the blame on school. Because I've had midterms and then I finally got placed in my shop (I'm a freshman at a trade school that has one week of academic work and then a week of shop work. And it tool half the year to place people in their shops, but I'm finally placed in my first choice. Business Tech bitches!) Anyways even though shop work has been light the academic weeks are killing me because im in all honors and essentially doing work 4 times faster than I normally would have been doing had I been going to a normal highshcool. Anyways, im getting kinda bored with this story and already have 2 others planned out so Im planning on ending this soon, probably this week since im on vacation.

Chapter 4

Outraged at this point I began to scream at him, and really I'm shocked that nobody in the house stirred because I, despite my silence in most situations, can shout very loudly. However nobody interrupted my shouts and I was able to yell to my heart's content. "I wake up to you sobbing, crying your eyes out, and when I try and comfort you constantly try to run away. And then without so much as an ounce of warning my aching body is pushed to the ground and then forced to watch as you cut your arm open!"

I look at his face to see if any of this is sinking in, he's staring at me, but his dull blue eyes are expressionless and it doesn't look like he even gives a shit that I even bother to yell at him. He doesn't look ashamed, guilty, angry or even as if he's in pain, which he should because I saw how deep his self inflicted wound actually is. If anything he looked tired and distant. While I felt concern flash in my brain, I barely let it register, I was too pissed off and confused. His blank expression only seemed to increase my anger.

" And now, you sick fuck, your telling me to watch the wound you sliced into your own body as it bleeds, and people call me a sick bastard." Yelling felt good, I haven't allowed myself to yell in quite a while. I found that a good note to end with and waited for the response that surely would come, since Naruto doesn't take to well to being yelled at, and nobody likes to be called a sick bastard.

The worry that I had earlier repressed came hurling back at me after a few moments of silence; normally Naruto would have responded to that onslaught of insults, but normally Naruto wouldn't be sobbing for what was probably hours or slicing open his arm or telling me to watch as his arm bled heavily when typically Naruto hid any weakness of his from me. Or would the normal Naruto do all those things? I was severely doubting my prior knowledge of my friend/rival at this point. This was a side of him he had never shown me before, or possibly ever showed anyone, and I was yelling at him for it. Well, he really shouldn't have expected a very positive reaction, but still guilt started to eat away at me the more I tried to justify my actions when it came to this situation.

I let out a heavy sigh as I decided to comply to the dobe's wishes, and I grabbed his injured arm. Naruto shifted his once blank gaze to me and I was glad to see that there was shock plainly written in the look he gave me. Then I remembered, we didn't really touch before the Haku incident. This reminder didn't however make me want to stop touching him. Normalcy didn't seem to be his top concern when he was crying or slicing his arm open, so why should I care if I was doing something I wouldn't typically be doing?

Remembering my purpose in grabbing the thin, tan arm I looked down where I recalled the wound had been inflicted (hard to forget,really, the image of Naruto slicing his arm open for the second time in what could have only been less than a week will forever be engraved in my mind) only to find...nothing. No blood oozing from a wound made less than 3 minutes ago as I had expected, instead I only saw amounts of drying blood covering the expanse of the arm where there used to be a gaping wound. This wasn't possible, not even with medical ninjutsu, he would have had to apply chakra to his other hand and hold it over the wound. I would have noticed if he had done that, and he didn't. So what was this? How is it possible that a serious wound was now completely and totally gone, without even leaving a scar.

I met the dobe's hypnotizing blue eyes to find regret, anxiousness, sorrow, dread, and even what seemed to be an apology. With more than a few questions in my mind I decided to voice almost all of them at once by letting out a shaky, "Dobe?"

**Another author's note:** Yes it sucks, but it was written really late at night when my internet was being a bitch, and my father was blasting some stupid movie on TV so loud I couldn't think straight. So, I apologize for the suckishness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's note:** I know I said I was going to finish this story over my vacation, but i'm a dirty little liar because tomorrow is my last day of vacation and I still have a boatload of homework that I haven't done. So, yeah I lied, but on the brighter side I am no longer bored out of my mind with this story and actually have it all planned out now, its probably gonna take a few months to finish, but i'm happier knowing that the story will be better because of it.

**emotionally retarded chapter 5**

I don't startle when I hear the rough, weakened voice of my friend fill my ears after a few more moments of tense silence, at least that is what I tell myself. I vehemently deny that my body gave a small jump when that voice came out of my teammate's mouth. It doesn't sound right, this beaten quality in his voice. His sentence can be considered more of a whisper than a sentence spoken in a normal tone of voice. A normal tone of voice for the dobe is just under a shout, so to hear him whispering something is a drastic change. Nonetheless I've grown used to drastic changes in the dobe on this surreal night. So, when I hear a hoarse whisper struggle its way out of my blonde friend's mouth I don't allow myself to be startled or dwell on it too much.

" So, you've noticed. Are you curious as to what could have made a wound so deep disappear without a trace, sans the leftover blood of course." After that he let out a dry, humorless, haunting chuckle that, compared to the usual laughter I heard from him on a near day-to-day basis, made me more irritated and sent a chill up my spine.

Even if my pride wouldn't allow me to admit it I was damn curious about what had caused that wound to close up. I would have convinced myself that I had imagined it had it not been for the blood that stained his arm and clothes (it had somehow avoided the carpet.) Instead of asking about what was irritating me, as I've observed normal people do, I just stared at him with what I hope was a blank look in my eyes, I knew that that would irk him and it usually just made him talk more, but that was what I wanted. Sometimes I regret that I am not normal and can't express my emotions like any average,carefree person can, but then I remember that I have a goal in mind and emotions would only get in the way of that.

After several long moments without Naruto explaining what had piqued my curiosity I began to get worried, again. Worrying is foreign to me, as I'm sure it is foreign to all Uchiha's and I daresay that it is a horrendous state of mind. Naruto was stirring emotions and _feelings_ that I would do anything to avoid. This thought stirred anger in me, and anger is an emotion that I am very familiar with, I felt relieved as the fury pulsated through my veins and welcomed the slightly uncomfortable pounding ache in my head. It was when I turned my glare onto the blonde 12 year old that I noticed the look in his eyes.

The cerulean had turned to a deeper shade than is usually seen on Naruto's face. His eyes were pained and laced with regret, anxiety and insecurity. It was when I looked at his eyes that I realized he had been trying to gather the courage to explain to me what was going on the whole time I had been allowing myself to get angry at him. He had a faraway, haunted look on his features and registered in my brain that what he was about to tell me had earned him rejection and pain from whomever he had previously revealed it to. I didn't like the thought that anyone had rejected him, or that he had experienced pain, but I know that pain and rejection are inevitable when it comes to living life. Every person has been pained about something at some point in their lives, and rejection is fairly common as well. but from the looks of things Naruto had been subjected to abnormal amounts of hurt and distress in his lifetime because of his dirty little secret. And damn it did I want to know what his secret was.

I didn't really care at this point that it would pain the blonde to tell me his secret. I felt no apprehension at the thought of causing my teammate any mental pain. Nope, none whatsoever. So when I felt my body moving closer to the dobe I was momentarily confused. This time my body really was moving on its own, and I didn't like it one bit. Bodies weren't supposed to move without the consent of their owners. I know that for a body to move on its own is impossible, I payed attention at the academy, so I knew that my brain was simply being a traitor and sending directions to my limbs while I am unaware of it. God damn traitorous piece of shit brain!

I continue to inwardly place the blame on my brain as I see more than feel my arms encompass my frail-looking teammate. He doesn't fight me this time and deep inside the pits of my subconscious I know that this pleased me. It had been so long since I've had the feel of someone else's body pressed so closely to mine. Its rather... intimate as I know an embrace should be (I refuse to call it a hug, Uchiha's don't hug.) My arms tighten around his thin waste, and I feel his arms gently encircling my waste as well as a light weight on my chest, which when I looked down I confirmed was a head topped with spiky blonde hair. It didn't feel perfect and we didn't fit together just right, it was a rather awkward moment more than anything, but in the pit of my stomach I felt a tell-tale fluttering that told me that I liked this. I enjoyed having my irritating, loud, burdensome, idiotic, thin, tan, emotion stirring teammate inside my arms. All was well until I felt the body suddenly shutter within my grasp and wetness begin to seep into my deep blue nightshirt. Back to square one, Naruto is crying and I have absolutely no idea why, and why I want it to stop immediately. This comforting bullshit is harder than it looks.

**Author's note: **this chapter was harder to write than others and I found myself making Sasuke be in denial alot, but its okay because I think Sasuke in denial in cute :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note:** Yeah, I haven't updated in a while, and I could blame it on schoolwork again, but I won't. I wasn't updating because I found another thing to add to my obsession list, and that would be Death Note. This whole time instead of writing I was watching the anime and reading the Manga. I'm a bitch, but it was so good I couldn't help myself. Anyways, moving on. I got a review asking about my choice in title, and here's a Kiersten lesson for all of you who actually read the author's note, I am a very impulsive person. I was uploading this story, and then when I was about to I was like "Oh, shit I need a title for this! And so I just wrote in Emotionally Retarded. Little to no thought went into it. It was just a whim. But, I'm not changing it now, because now I have a plan for this story and the title is in that plan. That's right the Queen of Whimsy has a plan! It feels good to have a plan.

Emotionally Retarded

We sat there for about 5 minutes without moving an inch. Well, I guess he was sort of moving if you count gut wrenching sobs, but I don't count them. Five minutes of awkward was apparently my breaking point, and I'm kind of disappointed in myself for that, because I'm supposed to be able to endure anything, even teammates crying on me. Let us not dwell on my crumbling self control for too long, though. Anyways, after 5 agonizing minutes and Naruto showing no sign of stopping I butted in and found myself asking in a voice that shouldn't come from an Uchiha's mouth, " Are you ready to tell me why your crying and slicing your arm open yet?" At least it was more a command than a question, but it would probably have been more convincing if it hadn't sounded like I was actually concerned and not just annoyed.

Don't get me wrong, I was annoyed. I almost died for this idiot and he doesn't even have the decency to tell me why the fuck he's been bawling for the majority of time I've been awake, why he was cutting himself, and the most important unanswered question, why did a nearly life threatening wound close up within minutes of being created and not even leave a fucking scar? Yes, I was certainly irritated, as was perfectly understandable when you consider the situation. I just woke up probably about an hour ago, I still have no idea how long I was out cold, I ache all over (not to mention Naruto made the pain worse when he pushed me to the ground), I watched the idiot cut himself open for the second time in my life, and said idiot would rather cry into my chest than answer any of my freaking questions.

Wait, he's pulling away. How dare he fucking pull away and wipe his eyes like that didn't fucking just happen, because it did, I'm sure it did and I'm not forgetting it any time soon so he can just dream on if he thinks that's going to happen. Fuck! has he been talking this whole time? A look at his plump lips moving at full speed confirms that yes, he has been talking but considering the speed at which his mouth is moving I wouldn't have been able to tell what he was saying had I been paying attention and not bitching at him internally anyways. A glare and a "Dobe, I can't fucking understand what your saying." shut him up pretty damn fast. If he thought I was going to be nice to him just because I let him cry on me he was in for a surprise. I didn't care about him, despite what my pounding heart was screaming at me and the slight empty feeling inside my arms that tells me that they miss his presence inside of them. Well, fuck my body, its a traitor anyways, it doesn't fucking listen to my mind anymore.

Speaking of listening, I should stop internally ranting so that once he starts talking this time I can actually make an attempt to understand what it is that he was saying. And, just when I thought that he cleared his throat and began talking in a scratchy, deep, heartrending voice. "Sasuke, I know you probably really want to know how I can do that, you know heal myself like that, but I can't tell you." Are you fucking serious? Why the hell not? "You'd think I was disgusting, you'd never look at me the same, and you would probably never want to see me again." Who is he to tell me what I would and would not think? I wanted to screech this out, but the sad, resigned look in his eyes stopped me. What could be so horrible that I would never want to see him again? "And I know its selfish, but what you don't know can't hurt you, and I couldn't stand to lose you." He looked like he was about to burst into tears again at the prospect at me leaving him. I let him continue without voicing my thoughts. " I know that not knowing will irritate you, but the most important thing is that now you don't have to protect me ever again. I can take care of myself, I have for quite a while, and even if I am hurt it won't matter because it will just be healed after a short while." How could he say something like that with such a look on his face? I'm sure whatever that power is it won't stop him from dying. He isn't immortal, and a part of me didn't want him in pain even if it was only for about a minute or so. He's being ridiculous if he thinks that I'm just going to sit back and allow him to be put into pain.

I watched as a shudder traveled up his spine, and his bluer than blue eyes produced tears that silently fell to the floor. His voice broke as he talked to me, and I couldn't stop myself from moving closer to him and, for the second time tonight wrapping my arms around the waist that was far too thin for a boy who eats ramen like a possessed person that hasn't eaten in a year. His next words were muffled but I heard them distinctly. "Sasuke, please don't ask how I can do this, and just never save me again, the world would be happier if I were dead anyways." I can't see why the world would be happier with him gone, but even if that was true, I'm selfish, and the world can go rot in hell for all I care, I wouldn't be happier with him gone, and I'll be damned if I won't save him again and again and again.

He needed to hear that, and I was going to tell him, but at the moment that I was going to I felt his frail looking arms wrap around my neck and his head settle comfortably on top of my chest. He wasn't doing too well at convincing me to never save him, and just let him die, since I've never felt more complete and happier than when I felt him curled up closer to my body than probably anyone has ever been. I'd be damned if I would let him die and leave me all alone and miserable.

I felt his hands begin to move around my neck, and I thought it an odd occurrence, but how was I supposed to know how these types of things worked, maybe this was normal. But then again, he's never cared too much about being normal, so it could just be his weirdness coming into play. My so called genius mind only discovered what he was doing when it was too late, and i felt his stubby, thin fingers press into my pressure point, and before everything in the tiny room we were in faded to black, I think I heard a trembling voice say, "I'm sorry Sasuke." and a slight pressure on my lips before it was gone and my body slumped to the ground.

**Author's note:** I hope no one was expecting that kind of ending for this chapter, because I feel like this story has been too predictable so far, and I don't like being predictable. In unrelated news I just finished reading Romeo and Juliet in school and it was pathetic! I don't see anything Romantic about a 13 year old and a twenty something dude getting married after they knew each other for less than a hour, and then committing suicide. And Romeo is a whiney bitch the whole freaking time. 'Oh, I killed a guy and now I'm banished. My life is over! Fate you are so unfair! I'm going to kill myself now!' One of the most horrible things I've been forced to read.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: **I apologize in advance for this one. It's not that it outwardly sucks, its just that its placed weirdly. And I really was planning on making it a lot less confusing by fusing this chapter and the next, but then I was like "Okay this is getting kinda longer than all the rest, and my OCD won't allow me to have anything different chapter to chapter" I wasn't even planning on being so descriptive of Sasuke's confusion this time, and I'm kinda angry with myself for being so damn descriptive, why cant I just get to the freaking point? Does anyone else get annoyed with that?

**Emotionally Retarded**

Naruto's face was covered in tears as he walked away. He wasn't outwardly sobbing or anything, and I knew he truly was sad, but it just wasn't the same as it was **that** night. I'm getting pretty annoyed with him. He's just always so...bright, happy, energetic, just...something. And I know I shouldn't be ticked off because my teammate is happy, but I am. Its not right. He shouldn't be happy because there wasn't even a trace of happiness on his face **that** night.

I'm being ridiculous, I'm pissed off because Naruto is acting like how he's always acted. I'm about ready to beat him to the ground and start screaming at him just because of the memories of him sobbing on my chest and my arms wrapped around him as he falls apart. I'm about to go on an all out rampage because of the way I felt when I saw him raking that kunai down his wrist. Which, brings me to another point. He never explained how he managed to heal that wound so fast and so completely. I mean, I guess its kinda my fault for never asking him about it, but still.

And, no matter how pissed off at him I am, I still feel like I never want to hurt him. God fucking dammit, my thoughts are so conflicted. I want to beat the answers out of him, I want to get him to tell me what the fuck he's done to my mind, which was perfectly sane and orderly before this whole waves mission came up. I shouldn't be angry at Naruto, because of something that probably never happened anyways. What kind of person am I, to get angry at someone just because of something my injured, and possibly insane mind cooked up while I was supposedly unconscious.

Now he's hugging that Inari kid, and he's still crying, but its not the same, and I doubt it ever will be, because I'm almost 50% sure that that night never even happened. There's no proof. No blood on the floor, no scar on his arm, no sad look in his eyes. I haven't heard him crying at all, well until now, but this time doesn't count because god dammit, its just different. But then again, there wasn't a drop of blood on the floor in my dream either, and the scar mysteriously disappeared, before it even appeared, so that never existed either. However, I don't think its possible to hide sadness like that, and his relationship with me hasn't altered in the slightest. He still annoys the shit out of me. He still acts like a complete dunce, and he gets in the way more than he helps. Basically he is the same annoying son of a bitch he's always been, I'm the only one that's changed.

I've still been keeping my eyes on him, though, searching for the smallest clue that I didn't imagine such raw emotion ripping through him as he clung to me, or the look in his eyes when he was begging me not to hate him. I'd never be able to hate him even if I tried. I just want to know what he was, and still is, hiding from me. That is to say, he's hiding something if what I saw wasn't a dream. I've never been confused as to what was dream and what was reality before, and I wouldn't be at all, had it not been for the way Naruto has been acting.

The memory of the feel of him is just too vivid, I still have more pain in my back than any other part of my body, and furthermore, why would I dream such strange things. I don't even think my subconscious mind can cook up something as fucked up as Naruto, crying, cutting himself, and then miraculously healing himself. I don't want it to be a dream. I want it to be real so I can hold him in my arms again, and I can get him to trust me and tell me, how the fuck he does that, and why the fuck he was so sad in the first place.

As we walk away from the country of waves, he gets a look in his eyes, and I think it may confirm that that night was real, but then again, its perfectly natural to look a bit lonely that your leaving people that became your friends, that your going to have to go to sleep on your own, and wake up in a house devoid of any human other than yourself. I know that that look was a look of loneliness and can only guess that I've made a look similar to that numerous times during my life. I know it makes me the king of all bastards, but I'm sort of glad to see that look in his eyes. It reminds me of that night, and the dream (or maybe not a dream) that I had. I can't help but think that had I woken up differently, I wouldn't be so confused right now.

**Author's note: **So, in case anyone is confused, this takes place when Naruto and the rest of team 7 leave the country of Waves. And yeah, i know I ended the last chapter all intensely and all of a sudden, and everyone wants to know what the fuck happened, but right now no one does but me. :D The next chapter makes things a lot more clear, and its a flashback! Yay! I've never written a flashback before. The chapter is half way done already, so I should be updating tomorrow. Oh and FYI I'm on vacation, so updates will be frequent (since I ran out of anime to watch, and manga to read I have nothing to do)


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: **Alright, its here. Anyways, I wrote this at my grandma's house, and the whole time my family was like "Hey, Kier, what are you typing?" And I can't really tell them that I'm writing a story because they'll ask me a whole mess of questions and then they'll know I'm writing fan fiction about two guys in love, and then...punishment, or at least awkwardness. So, without further ado, I give you...a flashback!

**Emotionally retarded**

_*FLASHBACK*_

_Pain, so much pain, why doesn't it go away? As I wake up I let out a groan, and instantly regret it, Uchiha's don't groan. But it hurts, more so in some places than others. Like my back, and my arm. I keep my eyes shut, and begin to string my thoughts and memories together. Perhaps we should answer the most obvious questions first. Why am I in pain? Because of Haku, and hundreds of needles piercing my skin. Because of Naruto, and his imminent death, one I couldn't accept. Why does it hurt more in my back and arm than in other places?* _I was slapped, granted normally it wouldn't have hurt so badly normally, but seeing as I had previously had numerous needles jammed into my skin it hurt like a bitch.* _Alright, that explains the pain in my arm...and my back?*_ Naruto sprung up, pushed me onto my bedroll and ran to the corner of the rather small room we were sharing at the moment* _So, I'm in extra pain, because Naruto beat me up. Somehow that doesn't settle too well with me. And after awhile of angrily ranting in my mind, I remembered why he hurt me. Because I was trying to comfort him, and he wasn't having any of it. _

_Why would I try and comfort someone like him anyways. He's annoying, and a pain, and burdensome, and he wears too much orange, and his hair's too bright, and he has a huge mouth (well not literally, his mouth isn't that bad, but he talks too much)? But I digress, I wanted to comfort him, and he didn't want me to. What is this shit?_ _He should consider himself honored that an Uchiha wanted to comfort him, because, god dammit, we just don't comfort._

_So, back to the question at hand. Why would I try and make Naruto feel better? He was crying, intensely, and it sort of make my chest hurt, and I guess I just wanted it to stop, someone so bright shouldn't be exposed to anything dark like sadness. You know what, whatever, I'll figure out my emotions later, I don't even need a reason to do what I do, I can do whatever I want with no reason at all._

_Maybe I could ask Naruto what the fuck is going on with my mind... I would if I could get my freaking body up. I don't like just laying around being all injured and hopeless. All right, thats it, I am getting the fuck up even if it kills me (I didn't seem to be too worried about dying when I threw myself in front of a whole fucking mess of needles hurling through the wind at lightning fast speed anyways)_

_I got up on my elbows... and damn it did it hurt. My body protested, but my body can just suck it because its been doing quite a few things that I protest to as of late. So, I forced my body to get up until I was in sitting position. And ignored the pain that it brought me. I was just stopping to admire the silence (alright I was breathing to get myself through the pain like a pregnant bitch) when that blissful silence was interrupted by the voice of the loudest, most annoying and frustrating thing to ever exist in this world, the dobe._

_"Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan! The bastard is finally up-ttebayo!" What the fuck? I was up last night, I think. I couldn't have imagined that kind of messed up shit. Could I? Nope, certainly not, my mind isn't that damaged. Shouldn't he be a bit more appreciative of what I did for him last night,or whenever I was awake. Speaking of which, how long was I out._

_I look up so that I can see his face, and maybe figure out what the frick is going on with my life at the moment. It's so crazy and mixed up, and why the fuck did he have to call the bitch and the annoying pervert? I want to be alone with him, and talk this out. But, his face looks totally normal, nothing different from what it looked like before, no sign of the sadness that resided there last night (or whenever I was conscious). He looks totally different from last night. I mean not totally different, his eyes are still the same bright blue, they're just not as sad looking, or...enticing as they were before. His face is the same, just not covered in the tracks of heartrending tears like they were the night before. Yup, he still has those mysterious whisker marks on his face, how the fuck did they get there?_

_So, he looks the same, he just looks different while looking the same. What kind of warped logic is this? Alright, there's definitely something wrong with my mind. "So, teme, your finally up, how's that bastardly body of yours feeling?"_

_Did he just interrupt my train of thought, and ask how I was feeling in his weird Naruto way? Yup, he did_

_"Dobe?" I ask, sounding a like a weak child, and so, so confused. I see a flash of concern in his eyes, and I think for a moment that maybe last night, or whenever it was, couldn't have been a dream. It can't be fake, I don't want it to be._

_He's kneeling beside me now, and the look on his face looks so heartbreaking, I just want to pull him to me and hold him as close to my body as humanly possible, and I was just about to do so when I heard an annoying bitch asking with disgusting concern, "Sasuke-kun, are you okay?" I'm reminded of the bridge, and how she clung to my body as she wailed like a dying cat, I keep myself from gagging, by staring at Naruto's face as it gets that same look he always has, and his eyes do their transformation from beautiful, enticing, and sad to beautiful, guarded, and irritating._

_I curse the stupid, useless, pink-haired bitch, not for the first time in my life, as I wonder why I wanted to pull Naruto so close, and why he has to pretend like that night never happened. To see that look return to his eyes makes me want to simultaneously punch and hug him at the same time. Did last night ever happen?_

**Author's note: **It was brought to my attention that I swear a lot, and thats not going to change anytime soon. But, if you've read this far into it, swearing can't make you that uncomfortable anyways. Besides, I think with all these swears in my train of thought anyways. Though, I will admit I do add the occasional cuss word for good measure, I think that Sasuke probably thinks with swears in his mind anyways. And if he doesn't, its my fanfiction, and I can do whatever the fuck I want. Thats the end of the rant...so, I hope you enjoyed the flashback._  
_


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: **I have two possibilities for an ending to this story, one will make the story a considerable amount longer (and dirtier), and the other will just quickly end the story with a lot of angst. The angst ending was what I was originally planning on, but that would kinda piss me off after everything I put into this. Either way, the ending won't be happening for a long time, because I'm going to have to stop writing until school ends now that finals and Mcas are coming up. The last day of school is June 21st so we have a bit of time to go. Anyways, enjoy!

Emotionally Retarded

It's the same as always, but different. I'm thinking things that don't make even one bit of sense, I'm observing my blonde teammate closely, and I'm just not myself. It still hurts but not so much that I can't stand it. We're walking now, going home, to Konoha, but I don't think of Konoha as home anymore. Not since my family was slaughtered. My sense of "home" was taken away from me that night. Along with a large chunk of my sanity, I regret to admit. I must stop my brother, kill him before he can ruin anyone else's happiness. I will avenge my family and my clan.

If only my mind was completely focused on the avenging of my clan, and slaughter of my traitor brother. But, the only thing largely occupying my mind is that dream. Or maybe it wasn't a dream, but I haven't had any indication that the event that night were anything more than fiction induced by an injured body and mind. Naruto's done nothing out of the ordinary, he still acts the same, but I can't shake the feeling that his appearance has been altered, or maybe its my mind that's been altered, because no one else has commented on it, and I'm sure at least Sakura would say something if that were true.

He looks frailer to me, his skin is still the same tan color, but now it looks like it gives off a certain glow that is...tempting, or alluring. His hair is the same bright and annoying shade of yellow blonde, but it looks more like sunlight now, than something obnoxious and childish like a rubber ducky. Now that I know how thin he is underweight those annoying eyesores he calls clothes I can't stop thinking about it, and marveling at how he still can be so strong whilst being thin to the point where he is border line emaciated. His hands, while not delicate like a woman's still catch my attention in a way they shouldn't, and I have to resist the urge to hold them in mine quite often as of late.

Urges like that are coming up more often then they used to. Well, actually they never came up before, and I think I would prefer them to have never come up, because its maddening and I'm losing my already tremulous grip I had on my sanity. Another indication of my increasing mental illness is that I cannot stop watching the idiot. My eyes are on him a lot more than I would like to admit. Which means my eyes are on him at any point in time it is possible for them to be. Not because of my new point of view on his physical features (thought that does make watching him a great deal more pleasant), but because I want to see if he will slip up. I want that strange, confusing night to have actually happened.

Sure it would mean that Naruto has been lying to the world this whole time, and me, in all my genius, hadn't noticed. But, it would also mean that I was the only one he had shown that side of him to. Then we could grow closer, and maybe explore the strange desires I've had recently. I could ask him why he was so upset that night, instead of (unsuccessfully) trying to guess. Best of all, I could figure out my teammate's dirty little secret that he's done such a good job of hiding so far.

While my mind's only focus used to be only my revenge, I have started obsessing over watching Naruto. I'm constantly thinking about him even when he isn't anywhere near me. And when he is near me my eyes are glued to him, in a totally non-subtle way. Sort of like right now. He's walking only slightly ahead of me, so I can still see his face. He doesn't look troubled, like I am. He looks completely like he normally did, and it really pisses me off. But, whats even more irritating is how much I want him to look troubled. He hasn't slipped up yet, and the longer he acts like that night never happened, the more I begin to think that it was a mere figment of my imagination.

I want to force him to acknowledge that life-changing (possibly imaginary) night. So, I think of doing things that would force him to acknowledge that night constantly. I think of little things like starting fights. Maybe throwing a punch at him to see if he would look at me like a kicked puppy (thus making that night more likely to have happened) or just call me a teme and start throwing some punches back. But, I think of worse things than getting into a few brawls. I think of pulling him toward me and holding him there, maybe to see if he would reciprocate. As I stare at his lips I think of crushing mine against his. I think of tenderly kissing him and then just asking if that night was real or not.

After I think of that I feel disgusted with myself. I can't just yank him closer to me and have my way with him. What my foolish mind forgets to register during those little plans is the increasing probability that that night never happened, and the consequences of randomly (in my teammates mind anyways) kissing him. Somehow I think that wouldn't bode well with him.

I know that it would be much more rationale to just talk to Naruto about that night. Maybe start with "the other night I had a dream" and then just tell him about it, but something is holding me back from doing that. And I know what it is; my cowardice. The same thing that stops me from leaving the village is pursuit of my brother, and the same exact thing that stops me from acting on my impure plots (fantasies) involving how to get the truth out of Naruto.

As we walk back to Konoha after our mission in Waves I'm staring at Naruto's face, something that has become a habit of mine. I'm looking for any trace that the night that plagues me at my every waking moment isn't just some fucked up figment of my imagination. I'm losing my cool, and its becoming harder to look stoic while staring at my blonde teammate with the intensity of a stalker. It's only a matter of time before I completely lose what is left of my sanity, and I have to leave the village before that happens.

"Teme, what are you staring at me for?", an annoyingly high pitched voice pierces my thoughts with devastating effect. It's a voice completely different from the melancholy one that has molded itself into my mind. He has no idea what he's doing to my mind. So, I decide to test him.

"Don't be an idiot dobe, why would I be staring at you?"

I look at his face to see if there is any difference, desperate for at least a slight trace of hurt to prove that I'm not insane. But what I get is the same annoying face I see all too often. It's seething with rage, and he's spewing out a list of threats that we both know he wont be able to follow through with, because even if I am losing my mind, I will always be superior to him.

**Author's note:** No action yet. The action may or may not come, depending on which version of the story I decide to use. I wouldn't mind hearing some reader opinions on which to use, since the story is really written to please readers, and I don't like writing things that irritate other people.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: **10th chapter bitches! Never thought I would get this far! I have now officially experienced crippling writer's block, and frankly I can say that it sucks ass. I started this chapter at least 5 times, and each time I wrote a paragraph, reread the paragraph, and then Xed out the screen and clicked the 'do not save' button on the little pop up that came up. Finally inspiration struck me last night at 12:30 and I wrote a note on my arm, so I didn't forget. :) I had to go back and read the manga chapters for more inspiration, but I could finally write a save-worthy chapter. Hooray!

**p.s **The words in italics are quotes I took from the manga, and bold words are just bold for emphasis. :D Now you can read.**  
**

**Emotionally Retarded**

My dreams don't typically revolve around Naruto, which is another reason why this whole incident is really disturbing me. Normally I am visited by nightmares during my slumber. Or, on the not so often occasion that I have a non-disturbing dream I am slaying my brother like the useless weasel that he is. I am still visiting the possibility that the occurrence that time wasn't a dream, but as I've thought time and time again, the likelihood that it indeed occurred in reality is decreasing at an astounding rate. That is probably the reason I'm fleeing the village at this moment. I'm finished with spending my time in this useless village that can teach me nothing more, I understand that Orochimaru wants my body, but if he's strong enough to mark me, and make me come to him, I'm willing to give my body up to exact revenge on my brother.

With all that said, I'll still probably miss this village, and Naruto, even the slightest bit. I still haven't gotten any closer to the truth about Naruto. But, I can't go on like this, I'm on a sure fire track to losing sight of my original goals in life, and I simply cannot allow a useless boy, no matter how mysterious and increasingly attractive, get in the way of what must be done. It has come to the point that I'm paying far more attention to Naruto than to becoming stronger, and that is both unacceptable and counter-productive.

As I whip myself through he thick green foliage on my way out of the village that has held my prisoner all these years of my life I become aware that I have a person tailing me. Judging by the poor way this person disguises their presence I could almost with 100% certainty say that it was Naruto who was following my path.

"Oi, bastard, just where the fuck do you think your going?", a loud obnoxious voice that's been circulating in my thoughts quite often as of late cuts through the atmosphere like a blunt knife. It's presence here, **his **presence here, is unwelcome to say the least. The way my heart palpitates when the insulting and completely unnecessary statement meets my ears only serves to irritate me further. I speed up my pace as I head toward the Valley of the End. I'm running from this village and the confusion inside my so-called genius mind at lightning fast speed, and it simultaneously feels liberating and heartbreaking, I couldn't decide which emotion was more prominent.

As I skid to a stop my breaths come harshly and frequently, a testament to just how weak and pathetic I really am; I mean, sure I'm stronger than most anyone in this village, but all that strength will never be enough if I can't beat that filthy weasel. The only way to get closer to that goal is to join the snake, even if he is a disgusting excuse for a human being (is he even human if he can switch bodies?). A part of me will regret leaving this village, my home, and my comrades, but that part can be easily ignored, if only for the sake of killing the monstrosity that my older brother has turned into. _Brother, no matter how deep I have to plunge myself into darkness I will do it in order to kill you. _

_"What? Are you gonna run away?"_ I'm not running away, I'm running toward my goals, speeding and moving closer and closer to the day when I can defeat my brother, that is the purpose of my life; my only purpose, not to find out what's going on with the dobe, or to allow a dreamed-up night to continuously circulate within my head. I want to tell him these things, want to shout at him, and get it through his increasingly pretty looking head that I don't care about him, that the sole purpose of my life is revenge, and tell him to **stop** his useless and tiresome interference (even if he isn't aware of it), but I keep all my hysterical thoughts to myself and instead let these words escape my lips in a cool monotone...

_"Hey, dumb ass" _That isn't what I want to say, but it pains me too much to think of the alternatives. 'Hey, dobe.' 'Hey, idiot that managed to worm his way into my every thought.' 'Hey, boy I find myself staring at every chance I have.' 'Hey, boy I can't help but find increasingly attractive.' 'Hey, closest friend.' 'Hey, best friend that I'll soon have to kill.' As my throat tightens and my eyes begin to burn I think that going with dumb ass was the best course of action. The alternates make what I'm about to do even harder than it was before. It's easier to think of Naruto as some retard that stands in the way of achieving power and revenge. _I've lost everything once... I don't want to see my precious comrades die again._ So I'll just stop thinking of Naruto as a comrade, as anything but a pest.

Naruto is nothing to me, that's what I think as I drill a Chidori through his chest, that's what I allow to circulate through my mind as I transform into a beast and I attack the boy that against all odds managed to become the person closest to me. Naruto is just an idiot, I repeat the thought over and over as I watch Naruto grow claws and fangs, as the scars on his face darken to an impossible black, as he is surrounded by an orangish red chakra. As I take him down and stare at his lifeless form I begin to think that maybe I've seen a side of Naruto that could possibly confirm the boy from the night that constantly plagues my thoughts might actually exist. But it's too late, he is either dead or drastically close to being so. My job is done, all opposition is gone now that I've ended my best friend's life, I am free to leave, free to become as big a monster as my disgusting brother.

I walk away from Naruto as a veil of light shines upon his face, increasing his likeness to an angel. I walk away from the Valley of the End, where I ended the life of the boy closest to me, where I opened up a new chapter in my life. I walk slowly away from the boy from my dreams, from the village where my family was slaughtered, from my home, and from my innocence.

**Author's note: **While typing this I couldn't help but think that I strayed from my original plans, but what the hell. On a slightly related note, I made it so that any text I type on my computer comes out pink, and that makes typing a hell of a lot more fun for me. Reviews are greatly appreciated, because without them I feel like no one is reading, and I get unmotivated :(


End file.
